Okcupid Dating Apps For Men
Dating apps like OKCupid are pushing men (& women) to up the ante in the dating game, rather than being complacent. Priya-Alika Elias Published: 01 Jul 2019, 5:59 AM IST. Several popular dating apps including OkCupid, Tinder and Bumble are encouraging their users to vote through in-app promotions, according to The Hill. As election season in the U.S. Gets underway, many grassroots organizations are asking volunteers to make sure all eligible people, especially first-time voters, register to vote. “OkCupid is the best dating app out there. I’ve tried the rest.” - Greg, December 4, 2016 “I’ve had some issues but the app is overall very good with its features. The only comment i have now is that regardless of good features, i get significantly less visitors on my profile or messages compared to other apps. It was founded on January 19, 2004. OkCupid came to life thanks to 4 friends who were students of Harvard University. They wanted to create something different, and from there, OkCupid was born as the first free site for people to join, get to know each other, and arrange dates. In 2012, OkCupid became one of the most popular dating sites.
10 dating apps to swipe right or left depending on what you’re looking for in your next relationship here in Japan.
So you’ve moved to Japan hopeful that the dating scene here will be ah-mazing and full of new excitement. You think you’ll find the perfect Japanese man for you right away and things will lead to a happy ending. Or just have some fun for a while. While that’s a great mindset to have, it’s time to get real. Most foreign women living in Japan that want a serious relationship need to put in more legwork than they might otherwise overseas. Shyness combined with language and cultural barriers plus the not-so-little matter of a global pandemic make dating an even more stressful situation than it typically is.
But luckily, we live in an era where you can find anything online—even relationships. A quick search online will show you dozens of different deai-kei (出会い系 online dating) apps, but how do you know what will help you find who or what you’re looking for?
Having been there, done that, I decided to do a quick poll of my foreign friends to find out what apps or sites worked best for them and what didn’t. 15 international women living in Japan gave the original rankings out of five stars when this article was first published in 2017, and five of that same group helped to update this ranking for the dating scene in 2020. It’s up to you whether to swipe right or left!
1. Tinder
One that doesn’t need an introduction. While most people are “just looking” on Tinder, if you’re actively trying, you can not only meet people to date, but new friends, drinking buddies, networkers and activity mates. I found a whole group of men and women to check out summer festivals with, so I can speak from experience when I say that Tinder isn’t just for hanky panky.
In 2020, Tinder began offering its global passport, normally a paid service, for free to all users. It enabled them to better connect and communicate, which for several of the ladies was a huge bonus.
- Language: English, Japanese
- Fees: Free, special features require a monthly subscription
- Original Ranking: 4 stars
- 2020 Ranking: 5 stars
2. Bumble
Bumble markets itself as the app where the woman makes the first move, and if she doesn’t message, then the match disappears after 24 hours. This app also relies on the user having a Facebook profile first in order to log in, which has made it a bit slow to catch on in Japan, but it is gaining in popularity because of its “women get to choose” option.
One of the women I surveyed (and who found her current Japanese boyfriend through this app) summarized it as follows: “There are a lot of guys on there, and most of them aren’t on other apps as well. You don’t find as many fake profiles on Bumble as you do with other sites, and you get to control the whole ‘am I going to bother talking to him’ part, which is really nice.”
Okcupid App Online Tv
In 2020, the app is not just for dating, but also for business opportunities, and making friends too. Within the app, you can switch from one feature to another, which makes it very versatile for the global community, and also a great way to keep in touch and build your social circle from a safe distance.
- Language: English, Japanese
- Fees: Free, special features require a monthly subscription
- Original Ranking: 4½ stars
- 2020 Ranking: 5 stars
3. OkCupid Japan
Okcupid Dating Apps
Billed as “the best dating site on Earth,” OkCupid’s Japanese version is much more detail focused than Bumble or Tinder, with the average time to fill out your profile coming in at around 45 minutes. You can of course opt to leave most of your profile empty, but based on the experiences shared with me, it isn’t recommended, because you’re most likely to remain unnoticed. According to one woman who has used it, “OkCupid has a lot of serial daters on it, so if you use other dating apps/sites, you may be discouraged by the dating pool overall.”
In the 2020 dating scene, it’s still a staple, but the imbalance in users and the volume of fake profiles is staggering. It’s also said to be a hassle to sign up for too, so unless you’re really determined to use it, you’d probably have less trouble with a different app.
- Language: English, Japanese, and others
- Fees: Free, special features require a monthly subscription
- Original Ranking: 3 stars
- 2020 Ranking: 2 stars
4. JapanCupid
Not to be confused with OkCupid, JapanCupid is a part of the Cupid Media Group, a niche-based dating site group, that connects users with people from around the world rather than just in their immediate area. While this makes it somewhat less appealing to users in Japan, JapanCupid is popular with those who will not be staying in Japan for the long term, and with those who are looking for someone to marry—though apparently there are far more Japanese women on this site than there are Japanese men.
Unfortunately in 2020, not much seems to have changed, and when a different friend logged in, she was inundated with a number of obviously fake profiles and soon deleted her account. “Claiming a 20-year-old Korean pop star is really you, but you’re a 36-year-old Japanese man? No thanks.”
- Language: English, Japanese, and others
- Fees: Free, special features require a monthly subscription/fees
- Original Ranking: 3 stars
- 2020 Ranking: 1 star
5. MatchAlarm
MatchAlarm was a Japanese language only dating app that recommended a new person to you every morning at 8 a.m. based on your social information gleaned from your Facebook profile and behavior. You had 16 hours to respond to an alarm, after which it would disappear, and would require three coins (a part of the in-app payment system) in order to tap the “Might Like You” button. But unfortunately, MatchAlarm is no more, and therefore no longer part of the ranking.
6. Omiai
The largest online dating site and app service in Japan that relies on your Facebook profile (or Apple ID, or phone number now) to search for your ideal match. This is another konkatsu service, so unless you’re looking for a serious relationship, Omiai might not be the site for you. There are 24 points that you can filter your results by, including nationality and income level, which some users pointed out makes this site seem more for sugar daddy searching than anything else, but overall, no one had any serious complaints about this site.
For daters in 2020 with the Japanese language skills to keep up, Omiai has somewhat rebranded itself in more of a Tinder/Instagram friendly fashion, and strictly placed focus on it being a relationship/marriage-centric app. If you’re seriously looking to meet a marriage partner, this is probably your best option when it comes to dating apps.
- Language: Japanese
- Fees: Free for women, ¥1,950 per month (for the 12-month plan) for men
- Original Ranking: 4 stars
- 2020 Ranking: 4 stars
7. Tapple
Tapple is a dating app where, instead of filling out a profile and searching for people, you fill out the qualifiers of what sort of man you’re interested in, and then join different groups based on your hobbies. Then, you’re shown a selection of men who share that interest and meet your criteria, and you can either like, skip, or super like their profile.
While I had some positive experiences meeting and talking to people on this app, when the time came to actually meet in person, the people that I spoke to were very hesitant to meet offline. One guy actually said he preferred to talk and date online exclusively. Other foreign female users I spoke with had similar results, so this might not be a good choice if you are seriously looking to meet someone.
Thanks to numerous updates to a more streamlined, Tinder-like service, plus TV and online commercials in 2020, Tapple has become a very competitive app, preferred by those in their 20s who are looking for a relationship that could lead to something more. Plus, the numbers of people who want to take things slowly and start online here make it ideal for those wanting companionship but not willing to head out on the town just yet.
- Language: Japanese
- Fees: Free for women, monthly subscription fee for men (varies by number of months desired)
- Original Ranking: 2½ stars
- 2020 Ranking: 4 stars
8. YYC
YYC has been around for twenty years now according to its website and still lists itself as Japan’s largest dating service. When you join, you are given an automatic 300 points to use in order to meet and match with others based on your own search parameters. The vast majority of this service’s users are young professionals. YYC is a dating site designed for people who want to combine the blogging space of LiveJournal with the influencer lifestyle of Instagram, so if you aren’t the type to frequently update and message, you might find this site to be more of a hassle than anything else. “Casual users tend to just disappear after their free points run out, so it’s not a place for you if you aren’t ready to commit to the effort,” said one user.
None of the ladies I spoke with still used YYC, so I gave it an honest try, and I have to say, it wasn’t all that bad, but I did find it somewhat repetitive. If your Japanese isn’t up to par, it can be a struggle to navigate as well.
- Language: Japanese
- Fees: Free for women, monthly subscription fee/points system for men
- Original Ranking: 3½ stars
- 2020 Ranking: 3 stars
9. Pairs
Pairs is another online dating site and one that has had numerous TV and train commercials since going online. This site and its related app also uses your Facebook profile but allows you to hide your full name, enabling its users to go by initials instead. Their target audience tends to be younger Japanese men, “so there are plenty of guys to choose from, but those that are interested in pursuing a serious relationship with a non-native Japanese speaker are few and far between, at least in my experience,” according to a user.
“It’s updated a bit, but nothing really major has changed about the quality of the users,” says the same person as above in 2020. “I still use it, and sometimes you find someone nice, but it’s more work than some of the other apps out there now.”
- Language: Japanese
- Fees: Free for women, monthly subscription fee for men
- Original Ranking: 3 stars
- 2020 Ranking: 3 stars
10. Zexy Koimusubi
Zexy Koimusubi is a dating app that is part of a popular Japanese wedding services company. The app overall works on the same principles of matching based on shared interests and uses your Facebook profile to compile this data, but otherwise, it seems to have a fairly high success rate. Whether this is due to their association with weddings and marriage already is anyone’s guess, but of the people that I know that have used this site, two married someone they met on there, and one is planning her wedding now, so make of that what you will.
“I met my husband on this site, so of course I would recommend it to anyone that is serious about marriage, having kids, and staying in Japan. It does work, if you’re brutally honest with yourself about what you’re looking for. If you’re still trying to figure that out, don’t bother with this app.” (Jane, American, 31)
- Language: Japanese
- Fees: initial one time ¥108 fee for women (for ID check purposes), monthly fee for men
- Original Ranking: 4 stars
- 2020 Ranking: 4½ stars
11. Bonus App—Happy Mail
Happy Mail first began in 2001 but wasn’t a major player in the dating app scene for a long time. According to their website, thanks to consistent efforts over the last twenty years they have the largest number of members of any dating/matching app in Japan. There are just over 25 million people on Happy Mail, looking for everything from pen pals to serious marriage partners.
Based on testimonials from male friends and a few women, it’s quite similar to Pairs but has more of the immediacy of Tinder in terms of matching, so it all comes down to what or how you want to go about dating in 2020 whether this app is what will work for you.
- Language: Japanese
- Fees: Free for women (plus a 120 coin present as some services require points), points/pay as you go fees for men
- Ranking: 4 stars
Before subscribing to a Japanese “serious” dating app, keep in mind that most of them are likely to require you to submit a photo of an official ID before using their services. This is because they are quite literally trying to find you a suitable husband. If that’s your goal, don’t mind the screening! Good luck in finding the best for yourself, ladies!
Have you ever used a dating app or site in Japan? Share your experiences in the comments.
Online Dating Photo Tips For Guys: Posing, Should Guys Smile, Should You Look At The Camera, Should You Look Away, What To Wear, Looking Too Intense, Best Photo Examples
After years as an online dating photographer and consultant for clients in the Bay Area, Los Angeles, New York and across the world, I have seen some pretty cringeworthy photos used by guys on dating profiles. After much press and coverage you would think guys would learn by now but no.
Dating profile pictures for guys is not rocket science, but most guys hate taking photos and most never seek out unbiased feedback from others. Some still think it’s ok to use outdated photos that do not look like themselves today for some reason – don’t be that guy, don’t use old photos to mislead matches on dating apps.
Best Online Dating Profile Photos For Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Okcupid For Men
Open any dating app today, and you will see some things you cannot unsee. Classic offenders like bathroom selfies, photos with exes and intense looks are still popular but there are many other not so obvious photos in rotation today. These photos go against the most straightforward guidelines for dating photos on the internet.
Below are some tips on how to gather and take some great photos for your profile. With high competition due to gender ratio imbalances, your best bet is to stand out from the crowd with good looks, poses and environments.
Additional Reading: How To Look More Attractive In Your Dating Photos
How Many Photos Do You Need In A Dating Profile
Minimum 4, up to 6. This is something that should be learned by now in online dating 101. Just because Tinder gives you 9 slots and Match provides endless options doesn’t mean you need to use up all the slots. You are only as attractive as your worst photo – remember this golden rule of online dating.
Avoid duplicate outfits, backgrounds, expressions. Reduce inconsistent looks (grooming patterns, hair colors, hairstyles, weights and appearances). Use a mix of close up photos, full body photos. Mix up the facial expressions and poses.
Avoid selfies, but if you must limit to one. Avoid group shot photos in your main photo (limit rest to 1-2 max in your profile). Dress to attract the type of person you want to attract not what you feel comfortable in. Avoid dark circles, harsh lights, looking away often, photos taken below the chin and photos from weird high angles.
Should You Smile, Laugh In Your Photos
Seems obvious but no. Many guys have facial expressions that seem very intense, appear dark, look creepy, lack enthusiasm or are just unflattering. Smile or laugh too hard and you might reveal a double chin, see the back of your tonsils or highlight your nose hairs.
Not smiling well enough might suggest constipation, food coma, anger, sadness or despair. Finding the right balance is key. Surrounding yourself around close friends, family members, pets or activities, passions, hobbies can perk you up naturally.
Should You Look at the Camera In Your Pictures Or Look Away In Your Dating Photos
Too often, men don’t like their smiles, or they think their smiles make them look less masculine (this could not be further from the truth). One way men have tried to look more interesting or masculine is looking away from the camera. Side (also known as profile) photos, photos from behind, photos covering the face dark shadows, hoodies and hats all hide the face. Women want to see how you look.
Looking away can suggest insecurity, trying to hide a facial feature, lack of confidence or general disinterest. All of these can be viewed as an automatic left swipe by some girls. Own your look, look in the direction of the camera but don’t look too intense (mean look, big eyes etc.). The occasional photo looking away naturally can be effective but a series of photos looking away can suggest something more going on.
You might have seen studies or posts from dating apps like OkCupid or a few photographers stating how looking away in your dating photos is recommended. This is absolutely false. Looking away from the camera does not make you more attractive. If it works for someone you know, it’s because they don’t know how to smile, or they are more attractive to begin with. People want to see your personality, candidness, vulnerability, confidence etc. Looking away doesn’t allow people to see this.
Additional Reading: Looking Away In Photos
Avoid Trying Too Hard, Intense In Your Dating Photos
Many guys try too hard to illustrate strength, accomplishments or wealth. Don’t do this. Photos like this suggest insecurity, one-dimensional lifestyles and inability to be bold, unique and comfortable in your own skin. Spend 5 minutes on any dating app and you will find photos posing next to vehicles, photos with guns, photos at the gym, photos flexing, photos with luxury accessories, photos from expensive restaurants, lounges, bars, hotels.
One photo may not hurt you significantly but a theme of similar photos will make it obvious you are trying to cover up some emotional intelligence, personality or social skills. Also, one should note that the saying “you are only attractive as your worst photo” should resonate with the user if there seems to be a lack of likes and matches.
Dating Photo Background Locations and Environments
You don’t need to have epic photos all over the world to seem interesting but ignoring the backgrounds can be a self-sabotaging effort. If all your photos are taken at your apartment (hallway, bathroom, bedroom, living room etc.) that might suggest a lack of social life, lack of friends or lack of desire to leave your home. Everyone loves the occasional lazy morning, occasional Netflix binge but a theme of home photos can paint an unflattering picture. Adding conversation starters and talking points your bio and photos will facilitate responses from women.
Avoid Selfies In Your Dating App Photos
Spend 5 minutes and you will find no shortage of bed selfies, gym selfies, apartment hallway selfies, bathroom selfies, car selfies etc. I understand that it’s hard to get good photos of yourself but littering your profile with selfies is not only cliche but suggests lack of social circles or close relationships or fear of asking photos to take photos.
There is nothing wrong with this but dating apps that train users to make quick decisions based on limited data points will make it tough for you to succeed. Seek out events with photographers, ask a stranger to take a photo, use a tripod with timer, get friends, family members or a professional photographer to help out.
According to Hinge, selfies receive 40% fewer likes than non-selfies and bathroom selfies receive 90% fewer likes.
Misrepresentation In Dating Photos (Catfishing, Hatfishing, Heightfishing, Dogfishing)
Many guys on dating apps are looking to get that edge when it comes to their profiles. Sole inserts, misleading photo angles, old photos (more than 3 years old or those that don’t reflect how you look today), hat-fishing (using hats in all your profiles to hide baldness), photoshopping images, dog-fishing (posing with dogs that are not yours) are all techniques guys use to gain an edge.
If you manage to succeed in your photos, you will likely not succeed going from date #1 to date #2.
Be honest with yourself – work on self-improvement (exercise, eat well, be more social, research hair regrowth supplements). Many guys never solicit third party advice on their photos, app choice, bios – don’t be this guy. Get help. There is an inherent bias when it comes to perception and guys can get all the help they can use. Reducing uncertainty to any catfishing going on will help out with likes and matches.
Wardrobe: What To Wear in Your Dating Photos
It’s not helpful to have good photos but also look good as well. What you wear is just as important as your expressions. Many women like to see a range of looks to show physique, give an idea of how you dress up for an event as well as how you look when you roll out of bed. Having good attire is crucial for not only showing versatility but providing insight into style, personality and appearance.
Make sure your clothes fit. Baggy items can make you look bulky, heavy. Wearing all dark colors can make you seem dark, distant, unwelcoming. Wearing graphic comic book t-shirts can make you seem childish, immature. Wearing sports items can suggest you will be glued to the TV all autumn during football season. One photo here and there will not hurt but multiple examples can suggest a lifestyle.
Best Dating Profile Pictures For Guys, Male Profile Pics
The general vibe you want to convey is approachable, confident in your own skin, unique, and interesting. Guys often times try too hard in their photos and look too mysterious, narcissistic, full of themselves or afraid to show emotion, vulnerability. What might have worked on Tinder to attract shallow women will not work for Hinge, Bumble etc. You have to step your game up but you don’t need staged, portrait type professional photos with blurted backgrounds.
How Do Guys Take Good Dating Profile Pictures: Best Hinge, Bumble Dating App Photso For Men
Smile, relax, dress well, update your wardrobe, don’t look too intense, be candid, show approachability, use good body language and posture. This is easier said than done but that’s why practice is needed. I offer Zoom classes on these items to help construct great dating profile photos. Contact me today.
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TL;DR Avoid Worst Dating Photos:
-Dark photos
-Intense photos
-Selfies
-Blurry photos
-Distant photos
-Photos w/ cropped out people who can be mistaken for an ex.
-Group photos w/ guys who are significantly taller and/or more attractive than you
-Photos w/ low energy
-Photos taken all inside your home
-Photos with you looking away
-Photos where your appearance is too inconsistent (span a long period of time).
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For examples on outfit inspiration, check out my Pinterest Board for men’s fashion.
For technical aspects on great photos (distance, aperture etc, read this post on composing photos for your dating profile).
Read this post for tips onhow to get more matches from your profile and photos.
How can a guy look more attractive in a picture: Read this post for tips on how to be more photogenic.
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About Eddie Hernandez
Okcupid App Download
Eddie Hernandez is a professional photographer specializing in natural, candid online dating photos. Featured in the SFGate, ABC7News, East Bay Express, Salon; contributor to Good Men Project, Plenty Of Fish and Meddle. In addition to photos, he provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice and date ideas. https://eddie-hernandez.com/contact/
Okcupid Dating Apps For Men 2020
Dating Profile Critique
For those of you who are remote or virtual dating help and are looking for anonline dating profile critiqueyou can read more about my services here.
For other helpful online dating tipscheck out my blog for more helpful advice: https://eddie-hernandez.com/blog/
Online Dating Frequently Asked Questions(Photos, App Choice, Wardrobe, Messaging, Bios and More): https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-frequently-asked-questions/
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